Dramatics, A Chase Scene, And Here You Can Have It Just Don't Kill Me

[amarissia]

Do excuse the recent dramatics, dears. And if I should up and disappear yet again, please forgive that too. Things are inwardly tumultuous right now, as I've reached a time in which I need to decide what direction my life will be taking, at least for the time being. Until now, it's been difficult, a cornucopia of anxiety/depressive disorders coupled with an autism spectrum disorder will do that, but now I'm facing real change. The kind that could be good eventually, could lead maybe to the kind of life I wanted as a child, before I lost my ability to interact with people in any other way but this.

But change always hurts. Nothing is born without pain. If I thought I was ever stressed before, the pure uncertainty all around me now is...let's just say it's a miracle I haven't taken to hiding in the laundry room. I do a good Boo Radley, but that time is past. I want to break free of the cycle that's held me since I was a little girl and actually do what's best for me, even if I have to do it alone. Again, it's just hard. I don't want to just stay like this. But at the same time, it's always tempting to stay still, where all is familiar, at least. Possibility calls to me from ahead, ghosts pull at me from behind. Is this a good enough excuse for floundering and being such an erratic writer/updater lately? :)

I really don't know what's going to happen. I hope it won't end up including any more time away from you guys. Just typing this, I can feel my stomach start to untie the knot that's been in it for far too long, and after the nice long break I gave them, the Choir is around me again, and they actually seem rather happy to be so. Well, Zack is complaining that I put Loveless on for them again, and Angeal is pretending to agree when he's not even looking at the screen. Sephy is cuddling his favorite living Chocobo plushie, content but thoughtful as he analyzes everything, and Cloud is waving his fingers and pretending to catch imaginary butterflies. Genesis is...ruining the moment. And another pair of pants. Gaia, you'd think he'd at least take off the expensive leather first. If time away from me has made the rest of the Choir more mellow, it's made Genesis even more difficult than before. A short while ago, I summoned my scattered Choir with their homing devices and found Genesis prancing around with something that Zack was, in tantrum-mode, trying to take from him. After a chase that probably looked like some sort of demented ballet, I retrieved the offending object and found that it was the work of my dear Pixeled, a lovely bit of yum she made back in the 'Madness' days:

Lovely, no? Apparently Genesis made copies.

Genesis: "And gave them to my fan club."

And gave them to his - what?

Zack: *whines*
Angeal: *pets*
Amarissia: *has finally updated*

EDIT: Thank you, dears.

Comments

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Sephy: "Life is not boring when I get what I want. On the contrary, it's much easier to manage."

*eyeroll* Tsengy's hair IS shiny. Can I play with it?

Ever find the PSP? Srsly, that's weird. Where'd you stash it, Reno?

Reno: *can't speak through mouthful of lemon bar*

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

Now where's the fun in that? Really? If things didn't go wrong everything would be horrendously dull. It'd just be a bullet to the head and then over. No stalking, chases, or matching wits against your target. Tseng-tseng would be able to pilot a helicopter without something going wrong and it crashing. Really, life's no fun without the unexpected because if you want it you're expecting it. But that's what I get for talking to a SOLDIER. *sighs*

No the PSP is still missing. Honestly I've turned the place inside out and I still can't find it.

I don't reccommend trying to play with his hair. The coffee pot usually connects with your head at that range. *laughs* Srsly, I've tried.

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

LOL, I always suspected Tseng just somehow jinxes every helicopter he rides in. I don't want to imagine what ShinRa's chopper budget must be...

Sephy: "I find that the unexpected happens no matter what one does. Thus a little predictability now and again is welcome."

Reno: "Mmmmffffffyyymmm!"

*squeezes* Sorry, had to gag him. Sephy has a weird thing about that kind of profanity around Cloud. *eyeroll*

Zack: "Poor Reno."

Keep me updated on the PSP thing, kay? That is WEIRD.

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

FOUND IT! *grins* Well, Elena found it. It somehow ended up in her clothes in place of a few undergarments. Reno, when you get back Elena is going to kill you. Just thought you'd like the heads-up.

Predictability is lame. Just go with the flow for once. You and Tsen-tseng need to lay off the crazy planning. Nothing ever goes right in the field so why bother?

The chopper budget is classified information. And accounting hates the Turks for good reason. We cost almost as much as the SOLDIER program. And seeing how some of the firsts like to use weights as frisbees... *laughs*

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Sephy: *refuses to admit that his 1sts ever use equipment improperly*

Yay, you found it! Huh, so Reno's an underwear thief. Just like Zack!

Zack: "But female underwear? Ew. No offense, Amaya."

Um...*rummages around in Renos pants...uh, not like that* I think I found the missing panties. Although they might be Genesis's, it's hard to tell...

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

Zack only steals Sephy's underwear, right? Lol. Um, I'll ask Elena if those are hers. *runs off*

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Right. Yike, I don't want to know how those got there, do I, Reno? :)

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

Elena: *screaming profanities*

I'll take them. Elena can't be trusted around Reno right now.