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Sunday, July 11th, 2010 10:04 am
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"I have been turned into a fortune cookie by my evil step-mother. Please don't eat me."

Sunday, July 11th, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
Ha! "Duck!"

I went to the local Chinese buffet with one of my friends a couple of years ago and I got a fortune cookie that was more like one of those motivational tapes, so I say, "That's lame" and chuck the fortune. Then my friend cracks open her cookie and... there is nothing printed on either side of the paper. Heh.
Sunday, July 11th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
XD XD I wanna see someone's face when they open the cookie and it says that. O.O Heheheheeee.
Monday, July 12th, 2010 01:30 am (UTC)
Just had to add these, pardon the spam. Jer says: "AAAAAGH I'M DYING!" and paint the paper red.

Emily says: "Have you seen Fluffy?" with a picture of a cat.

I say: "Read this carefully: It is /crucial/ that you do not, under /any circumstances/, attempt to--" and print on the back, "Rest of fortune with purchase of another Family B meal."
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
It's probably a good thing you don't run a Chinese restaurant. :) Also, I would end up rushing around the place screeching and demanding you free Tibet, etc.
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
Can you imagine making some of your own and slipping them in with the "real" ones in a restaurant? Heh. Well, now I just want to do this. Find myself a place in the back corner and watch people's reactions as they get the planted fortune cookies. And it would be absolutely hilarious if someone frantically ordered more food.

I'll have to start going through restaurants in your general area until I can yell, "It's you!" Then we can both run in different directions out of the restaurant while I mutter "never again, never again, never again..."
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
Excellent plan. It would work better if I could actually stomach Chinese food...but hey, all you need to do is find the person heaving over a toilet and asking herself why she felt the need to try something new. Then we can exchange a few giggly words before our synchronized meltdowns.

*nods solemnly*
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
I guess I couldn't ask what the Chinese food is like in your neck of the woods then, 'cause here it sucks. I mean, there's a cheap place where you can get Chinese-like food from a Chinese family, but it's a buffet so quality is... well, thrown out at times for quantity. There used to be this awesome place that was authentic Chinese food down to the way they made their tea, homemade fortune cookies and everything (well, restaurant made, but still). It's the only place I really ever liked and it went out of business awhile back. I was devastated.

Nothing like talking to a person who just finished throwing up, then rushing into the stall yourself because you were a dumbass and ate before you ran into the bathroom to do something that would make you anxious in the first place. What an LJ post though: "Met [livejournal.com profile] amarissia. Threw up."
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
See, now we HAVE to meet someday so you can make that post. I will make one as well, that says "Met Kel_fish. Both threw up. Genesis screamed like a little girl."
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 09:38 pm (UTC)
Pocket Axel cackled and tried to grope the nearest Choir member in the confusion. Then fled before revenge could be exacted, which means he hid in my fucking jeans pocket and now my leg is going to get hacked off at the thigh by someone with a long, fancy piece of metal.
Monday, July 12th, 2010 02:20 pm (UTC)
Single Asian snack seeks spicy little dish for hot dinner date. Open to three-way action with siu mai or spring rolls. Inquire c/o Hunan Garden.
Monday, July 12th, 2010 04:56 pm (UTC)
Ooh, naughty fortune cookie. Hmm, naughty fortune cookies. I just had a great business idea!
Thursday, July 15th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
"That wasn't chicken."
Thursday, July 15th, 2010 02:07 am (UTC)
"The game."

8D
Friday, July 16th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC)
Hehehehehe mine would be "PENIS!!!!"