Oh, Wait, That's My Intestinal Condition.

[amarissia]

Which is my nonsensical MST3K-quote way of telling you that so far so good, Abilify doesn't seem to have KO'd my kidneys. I have also recovered completely from the whipped-cream mishap, so I seem to be healthy. Physically, at least. Have to see new eye-doctor tomorrow, though, and get some new specs.

Zack: "She's still nuts. A few days ago, she had a ten-minute laughing fit trying to figure out the past tense of 'wield'."

Writing still slow, but a possible break in the trouble I've had formatting my non-fanfic book. If I encounter no more trouble and get permission for a quote I want to use without delay, I could start the self-publishing process in a matter of weeks. YAY! I mean, oh gods, I feel nervous and nauseous.

Cloud: "Oooh." *big eyes* "Did you have whipped cream again?"

No. Um, Cloudy, you may have to go play elsewhere, since we're about to go watch Audition. It's unforgivable that I, a J-horror fan, haven't seen it yet. Well, after Visitor Q, I can handle anything.

*hugs all*

Comments

[liliesandglory.livejournal.com]

Past tense of to wield...wouldn't that just be wielded? Wait, no, that looks weird...but it's English, everything looks weird...dammit! Look what you've made me start doing!

Just out of curiosity, why did you decide to go the self-publishing route? (And what's the title? I need to know for when I start looking for it. :D)

I've actually never seen a single horror movie. Or, y'know, any other cultural touchstone ever--Monty Python, Star Wars, Indiana Jones...I recently saw Lord of the Rings, though, so I'm getting better! :P

*hugs back* Have fun terrifying yourself!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Wielded? Welt? Wold? *snicker* Crazy effin' language.

Because the beastly thing is so long, even interested literary agents ran screaming from it. The average fiction book is 80,000 to 100,000 words. This one is around 230,000. And the only good places to break it up would be into three, and nothing much happens in the first third, just a lot of build-up. It's called 'The Happiness To Sleep', and I'll let y'all know when it's available. :)

Where have you been, under a rock? I tend to avoid the popular stuff, but you're missing out on awesomeness! LOTR, though, good, no one should miss that.

Oh, I was unnerved, indeed yes...

[liliesandglory.livejournal.com]

I asked someone who I trust to be generally knowledgeable in such things and she is pretty confident that it's wielded. Neither of us are certain, though, and you've got me thinking of other baffling words. Damn you, Amarissia!

230,000...that sounds around the length of a book from A Song of Ice and Fire! :D How many pages would you say that is, roughly? I'm curious. Also understanding. Long novels can get published, but it's very difficult. Self-publishing might just be worth the cost. (...whatever that is. I don't actually know that much about publishing.)

Under a rock, being raised by wolves, being too terrified of other people due to a massive case of social phobia to actually leave the house long enough to learn that these things are considered basic cultural knowledge much less go out and watch them, something like that...

That's great! If a horror movie is not unnerving, the director either missed the point or is very, very bad at it. :P

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

BWA HA! Heh heh.

Close to 700 pages. A very scary prospect for mkainstream publishers. Also, am a control freak. Publishers sometimes try to change the title on you, and I couldn't have that.

Aha. I know that feeling well. I was originally diagnosed with agoraphobia before the Asperger's.

Unnerving horror is way better than simply gory horror, which is why Asians do it so very well. :)

[liliesandglory.livejournal.com]

Keep mocking my pain! I'll find a way to pay you back. ;D

Oh wow, that is huge. Not quite a Les Mis-sized brick, but still pretty hefty. I can see why publishers run screaming. And publishers often try to change more than just the title, so that'd be hard to deal with.

I seriously think it's the only sane response to the world. People are frightening. /soapbox

That's a big part of why I don't watch horror. American horror is just...bloody, not horrifying! Which is fine--I can handle gore--but not entertaining. Hollywood needs to take some lessons from foreign films.

[kel-fish.livejournal.com]

Oh. Crap. Audition.

...Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't go around saying that I love that movie.

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

It was good, just very weird, which was what I expected, because the Japanese are insane. But hot and creative, so I forgive them.

Hey :)

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

I know quite a few people who don't like whipped cream (my sister, for example). They usually don't get sick though. When I was younger, I would get sick from the taste of pickled cumcumbers (the vinegar, maybe...).

Hm... Isn't it simply 'wielded'? (although 'weld' or 'wold' would sound more intriguing... ;) I love irregular verbs...)

Ohhhh... Let me know when you're done with your book, ok? (*big kitty-eyes*) You'll have your first customer immediately. Don't be nervous, you'll do fine. After all, it's nothing you haven't done before, have you? (considering the success of your published fan fiction)

Let me know what you thought of 'Audition'. I wanted to see it for a long time (for some weird reasons), yet I can't seem to get hold of it over here...

*hugs back*

Re: Hey :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Pickled cucumbers? I feel a little ill just thinking of them. :)

Probably...but yes, what about 'wold' and 'weld'? English is insane. Whole language is on crack.

I'll let you know right away, worry not. *is still very nervous* It's different, somehow, than fanfic. Though the fanfic and its response finally gave me the courage to do this.

Audition was good, not one of my favorite J-horrors, but unnerving. Really gory too, you might want to skip it. I could barely look at the screen toward the end...

Re: Hey :)

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, pickled stuff has that really weird sour taste... Today, I still don't like them, only when I'm in a really weird mood (food-wise), and even then I can eat just one.

It kept bothering me, so I had to look it up. My dictinary says it's 'wielded' indeed.

German is even more insane, don't worry :) (Not even talking about Finnish - nine cases expressed in endings - or Hungarian. Or Japanese, for that matter :)

I can imagine that. In fanfiction, you still know that even though you come up with these stories, there is a 'common ground', a 'safety net' provided by canon and an existing fan base.
An original concept, on the other hand, is 100% 'you'. So naturally, you worry a lot more. But let me tell you one thing: the main reason why I not only read, but really love your fan fiction is your style, the very way you tell the story and portray the characters.
I've spoken to a few people in the past who said that they keep reading your stories, even though they actually don't like the subject matter or don't agree 100% with your characterization.
As I said in my comment to the negative review post, you have the ability to convince people with your writing, and that is a rare gift. (A lot of stories on FFnet, often really bad ones, get tons of hits just because they feature popular themes, characters or pairings. Still, those authors depend on something that was strictly spoken not a personal achievement - namely the popularity of something or someone within the fandom - and would never succeed with an original idea.)

I'm not worried about you at all. I'm sure people will love your novel. And I will finally know a real published author :)

I kinda have a problem with gore, too. Not that it scares me, not at all, I think it's rather boring if a movie uses too much of it (some directors think the excessive use of gore makes up for a bad script, untalented actors or lack of plot). However, if it's shown too explicitly, I'm grossed out and can't keep watching (for that scene).
That's exactly the reason why I prefer psychological horror by far. The reason why Audition was on my 'watchlist' was that someone once mentioned it on a list of 'most disturbing films ever', and (in my morbid curiousity) I wanted to know if that's true.

Good luck with the finishing touches of your novel!

*hugs*

Re: Hey :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Awww. You're so good at amking me feel better. *glomphugs*

Gore does not sit well with me, I don't like blood. Or pain. And I hate having to turn away during an otherwise good movie. I'll put up with it for a good story, but that's one reason I love Asian horror - so much of the scare is the atmosphere. Very little blood.

Audition was very disturbing, even more than just for the gore. The build-up, the tension, was insane, and the end just makes you go OMIGOD OMIGOD. I once saw a countdown of the hundred scariest movies ever, Audition was number 11. But it was more creepy than scary...not that many movies have scared me...

*more hugs* Thank you!

Re: Hey :)

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

If I can make you feel better, it makes me happy :)

Really, you have no reason to doubt yourself. (Random fun fact: in German, we say "Stop putting your light under the bucket." - which means "Don't deny your talents." or "Don't belittle yourself." Just because we were talking about odd language features...)

I prefer a good atmosphere, too. Have you seen "Dark Water"? (The Japanese original, not the American remake... they totally changed the ending in the latter.) I liked the mood in that one, and there is no gore.

Same here. I'm not easy to scare. When I was a teenager, I would read Stephen King (and other horror books) before going to bed. In both movies and books, I like stories where I can't predict the ending or foresee what's going to happen next (in "Paranormal Events", I guessed the whole outcome right around the middle of the movie. Sadly enough, I'm quite good at that...).

A movie that totally scared me when I saw it for the first time was "Blair Witch Project", just because of the mood and the 'reality feeling' it had (or maybe I shouldn't have watched it all alone in a big house, at night).

You are so welcome!

*hugs some more*

Re: Hey :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Under the bucket? :) I like that.

*hugs*

I saw the Japanese Dark Water a long time ago...I think I liked it. I do remember I didn't like the American one, so yeah, must have been the Japanese I liked.

I LOVE Stephen King. I've read a ton of his stuff...I don't think any movie or book ever scared me like Pet Sematary. And I really liked Blair Witch too...I saw it in a theater the first time, at night, and of course I lived surrounded by small woods then, so when I came home I was very anxious. :)

Re: Hey :)

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

Just like English, German is full of funny (often very metaphorical) sayings and proverbs. Sometimes both languages use the same images, sometimes they are completely different. Like with the bucket ;)

The American "Dark Water" ruins the mood they established before by giving it a happy end. It just doesn't fit. In the Japanese version, the mother sacrifices herself for her daughter, which is touching and very real.

I LOVE Stephen King, too. As you know, I wrote my Master Thesis about him. You can say what you want about his style and the subject matters he choses to write about (I actually like both, but some people don't), he's a great author.

A lot of his works have been turned into really bad movies (some people dislike King just because they saw a terrible movie based on one of his short stories). Pet Sematary is quite good, just like The Shining (it's a matter of taste though. Even King says Kubrick followed a different interpretation) and Carrie.

Oh, and a short PS: I'm still working on those character sketches... I'm in the 'background' section now, which basically includes (in a nutshell) everything that happened prior to the story, like important childhood events and - of course - previous relationships.

The reason why I mention this is that we were talking about music, and there is one specific song that always reminds me of one of those previous relationships (more precisely, the 'outcome' of that and the emotions involved. In terms of those, it's eerily close). The only problem with the actual song is that they are using strange background sound effects (I would not even call it a melody for the most part). Anyway, I thought I could put the lyrics here (and the song link, just in case... but you have been warned ;):


Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you

I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then
For just a moment I romanticised the notion
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did

You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsgX5CW91JM

Re: Hey :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

:) Do you use the bucket as a metaphor for death, like us? To "kick the bucket" means to die. :)

YAY for character sketches! Awesome, I really want to know more about these guys so I can coo at them all motherly with more effectiveness. :)

Oooh, song! I love Darren Hayes's voice. Have you ever heard...I think it's called "I Like The Way"? Very tense and sexy, awesome.

Re: Hey :)

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

I know about "kicking the bucket", because I once saw it given as the original title of an American movie.

German metaphors for dying include "biting the grass" (not the dust, the grass over here) and "handing over the spoon" (maybe because the ones who stay behind inherit your stuff).

You want to coo at them? How sweet :) You know, Sasha is more a 'mama's boy' than he admits (he adores his mother, who is one of the most important people in his life), and Alan lost his mother when he was 12.

Well, I really liked Savage Garden when I was younger, but I never really followed his solo career (I think most of his songs were/are never even played over here) until a few months ago. Now I know most of his songs (including "I like the Way").

Re: Hey :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

I like those. :)

I'm maternal toward male characters I like, yeah, I want to coo at them and give them cookies and make them tell me their problems. :)

I didn't even know Darren went solo at all till recently. Savage Garden was only big here for a short time.

PS

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

Forgot to say: like your music choice! Any specific reason?

Re: PS

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

:) It was just what was playing on my mp3 player at the moment...though considering Audition, it was eerily appropriate. :)

Re: PS

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

I personally think it was a premonition ;)

For some reason, the mood in "Bleed For Me" reminds me of "Blurry" by Puddle of Mud. That's one of those songs where I love one part but hate another (I really hate it when that happens. It makes me want an endless loop of the good parts, but they are often too short). As for "Blurry", I think the verses are amazing (the melody, the words, it's just perfect, especially the "you could be my someone"-part), but the chorus is bad.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqxDUMcVjws

Re: PS

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

I love Blurry! :)

Re: PS

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

I love it, too, in a weird way. I just wish the chorus was different... ;)

Another PS...

[cutecookiecat.livejournal.com]

And just because I "recommended" (not really, but still...) such a strange song today (in the post above), let me add another one of the 'cheesy but sweet' kind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHC54Hg84Eg

Believe it or not, it's the same singer... (who by the way has the same last name as one of my characters)

[monalovely.livejournal.com]

OOOOH! I wants a copy of dis book!!! How exciting! You can do it, you can totally do it. You've written a book, so you can do anything. I'll forever be your cheerleader!

Hope: "But...but Snow told me that was *my* job! *to Snow* Then why'd you make me wear this ridiculously short....skirt?"

Snow: *grins, shrugs*

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

:) You guys will be the first to know when it's available. And...thank you. Your recent video shout-out to Madness gave me the kick in the butt I needed to finally do this.

Hope in skirt? I wants pictures. You're such a darling little thing, yes you are! *squeezes him*

Cloud: "LIVI-CHAN! HUG ME! HUG ME AND MY COUSIN TOGETHER!" *power-glomp*

[mistychan18.livejournal.com]

I'm not well educated,but I do beleive its "weilded"like

"Zack weilded his buster sword with ease" or

"Zack weilded his hard-on like a pro"

=3

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[mistychan18.livejournal.com]

I figured you'd appreciate that

[robonun.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, the only thing irregular about wield is its spelling, which isn't that bad considering it follows the "i before e" rule. Ah the joys of Anglo-Saxon Germanic.

I'll pass on the horror, thanks. I prefer my horror in written form. My imagination's FX budget is purposefully underfunded for the horror genre.

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Evil Anglo-Saxons. I think they sat around purposely making their language difficult.

If you ever change your mind, I'll have scores of recs for you. :) But maybe your way is best. Horror movies are not fun when you have to stay in bed, since you may get convinced something is lurking under it. :)

[ayuka86.livejournal.com]

When you get published, tell me so I can buy a copy!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

:) I will!

[nyx4.livejournal.com]

While it has nothing to do with the J-horror genre, have you seen The Orphanage?
It's one of my favorite movies. There's no gore or cheap thrills and yet it's creepy as hell. Then the end comes and you go WTF and then you cry. Or maybe that was just me >.>

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Nope, but it sounds good. Is it foreign?

[nyx4.livejournal.com]

Yes, from Spain. I heard they were trying for a remake here but meh...I'm not into American remakes (they tend to suck).
But I do love this film, it's very different from the usual ghost story.
I highly recommend it!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Spanish, oh, in that case I think I have heard of it! *goes to check*

[tenxxxryuko.livejournal.com]

Was not allowed to watch horror....*sighs* And it's wielded, dictionary told me so.....THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE LOOKS MISPELLED IF LOOKED AND READ FOR TOO LOONG!

Oooooh, self-publishing? Is it hard? I wanted to try it, but some matters are iffy....well that and my parents tell me to first focus in my education. *sigh* ASIAN-PARENTS ARE A DRAG SOMETIMES!

And you must tell me when it's out! I'll coerce my parents into buying it (if you're using Paypal......I dint believe in te use of credit cards. I's around 230,000 words? Only? Meh, that's nothing! Give me Madness of Angel any day! (I have yet To finish, isn't it sad? I keep on getting to the whole Genesis-is-killing off people and poor best-friend Firs Class-number-2000013-who-is-lured-by-Zack's-pedo-lure dieing and Zack and Angeal's relationship is steadily going along but the angst and emotions make me go all bonkers and I just stop and have to restart from the very beginning..... Ugh, I'll finish it! You'll see !) 230,000 is hard to publish. Especially if you're a newbie. But go for self-publishing! Go you sweetie! And I'll need to really buy your book when it comes out! ;P

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

I know, English is just insane when you really look at it. It makes Japanese look logical.

'Tis hard, yes. Formatting and all that are more trouble than the actual writing. And your parents mean well, as annoying as that can be. :)

I'm sure PayPal will be accepted...I'm using Lulu.com, which you might want to check out if you're interested in self-publishing. And this book is a little less intense than Madness, so you might have an easier time with it. :)

*hugs* Thank you for the encouragment.

[chalkbutterfly.livejournal.com]

I don't really like horror movies. I watched the japanese version of "The Ring", but I kept up a running commentary, such as "you know, an unmarked videotape is probably going to contain porn." and "Dude, you just watched the cursed video. Don't answer the phone, you ninny!"

[chalkbutterfly.livejournal.com]

And, before I forget, good job on the book! I'll buy it, so let us know once it comes out!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I will! :)

Ringu is awesome, it was the first J-horror I ever watched. I really liked the American version too, which is odd, because usually the remakes kinda suck in comparison. When my older sister first saw the little girl crawl out of the TV, she literally screamed and fell off her chair. :)

[ravensilver.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you've recovered fully! :)

I could send you something that might help on the self-publishing front: it's The Newbie's Guide to Self-Publishing (an EBook, by the way) and it's by an author who does a lot of self-publishing, very successfully. It's only around 7 MB and a PDF file. But very useful.

Let me know whether you'd like to have it. :)

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Yes, definitely! Thank you!

[ravensilver.livejournal.com]

Is on its way. Will take a moment to squeeze itself out of my slooooow internet connection, but then it will be winging its way to you at the speed of light! ^___^

[buttertoast89.livejournal.com]

Glad you feel better ♥ And now that we know your weakness, we can torment you with spoons full of whipped cream *evil laughter* >:3
Past tense of wield... *thinks of possible answers* This could be a funny topic to discuss with my teacher xD
Ooh, a book! I want a copy when you're done. By the way, may I ask what's it about? Or is it a surprise? 8D

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

AGH!

I'll let you guys know the second it's available. Alas, it's crazy hard to summarize, and when I try, it sounds terrible. Let me try...okay, it's urban fantasy, takes place partly in England and partly in the U.S. The main characters are seven teenagers who are...not normal, I can tell you without spoiling. And it's kind of dark. Not for kiddies.

Hmm, maybe I should do some sort of FAQ about it. People will want to know if it's like my fanfic, huh?

[buttertoast89.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Dark urban fantasy? Sounds interesting ♥ I have to start begging to my sister to use her paypal account xD
A FAQ would be wonderful :) I really want to know more about it.
If it is like your fics or not, as much as I love them, I'm much more interested in seeing your writing and original story :3 I have a thing for original stuff. Be it stories, characters, music...
Although if there's kinky stuff, I really don't mind ¬w¬ Either way, that's what we (your fans) are here for 8D
Now excuse me while I wait jumping in the corner 83