A Dialogue With the Choir: In Which 'Denial' Returns to Its Previous River Status

[amarissia]

Okay, is everyone present?

Cloud: "I'm over here."
Me: "Your tea party will wait, honey, come over to the Sharing Circle."
Cloud: "Can I bring the Seph plushie?"
Me: "Of course."
Cloud: *settles on Sephy's lap, giggles* "I'm between two Sephs now! YAY!"
Sephy: *hugs him* "Angeal, do you require help with Zack?"
Angeal: "I've got him."
Zack: *from behind door* "Go away!"
Angeal: "Puppy, you promised you'd come out and talk this over."
Zack: "Don't want to."
Angeal: "Zack."
Zack: *cracks door* "Angeeeeal..."
Genesis: *strolling in* "He's pulling the pout, no doubt. Excuse my lateness, all. I was busy pulling something else. Heh."
Angeal: *knees buckling*
Genesis: "An unshakeable sense of honor and a ganbatte spirit are nothing against big blue eyes. Stay strong, 'Geal. If you don't drag him out now, he'll just keep avoiding the problem."
Cloud: *whispers* "Seph, is Genesis being helpful?"
Sephy: *whispers* "I believe so."
Cloud: *whispers* "I'm scared."
Angeal: "Puppy, I told you, I'm not mad at you, I'm not upset, I'm not anything but worried about you."
Zack: *sadly* "Angeal..."
Angeal: "And I miss you. I don't smile enough without you, remember?"
Genesis: "This would be Angeal's version of pouting."
Zack: "Okay..." *slinks out of bedroom, eyes pointed downward*
Angeal: *pets*
Zack: *jumps at touch*
Genesis: "This would be unresolved sexual tension."
Me: "I'm supposed to be the narrator, Gen. Okay, into the circle, all of you. Who wants to start?"
Genesis: "Hi, my name is Genesis, and I'm a pervert. Ephebophiles next, Angeal."
Angeal: *smack* "Not now, Gen, please."
Me: "Cloudy, you usually tell me everything."
Cloud: "It's a secret. Zack feels bad and if I tell he might feel worse. Do you need hugs, Zack?"
Zack: *weak smile* "It's okay, baby, keep hugging your two Sephs, I'll squeeze you later."
Cloud: *wide eyes* "You always feel better after hugging Angeal. Why don't you do that?"
Zack: *sigh*
Cloud: "If kissing him makes you sad, you don't have to do that, right Angeal?"
Me: "Aha, so that's what happened. I figured this might happen eventually."
Angeal: "That's exactly right, little one. Zack? It was a party, you were rather tipsy, I know it didn't mean anything."
Zack: *hides head under arms*
Angeal: "And I know that just because a kiss didn't mean anything doesn't mean I don't mean anything to you, I know I do."
Me: "Waaait, like a real kiss? A full-on yaoi with-tongue kiss?"
Cloud: *cheerfully* "It looked really wet."
Me: "...and no one thought to film this?"
Angeal: "Amarissia!"
Cloud: "A camera was filming it! There are pictures from the party in the Midgar Tattler! I'm not in any 'cause Seph kept making me hide behind him, but there's a picture of the kiss! It looks pretty, Zack, how come you're sad?"
Genesis: *grin* "Oh, that's why you were on the phone with that reporter, 'Geal! Let me guess, big bribe for a retraction and a lie about using digital manipulation?"
Angeal: "Yes. See, Zack? People will forget all about it, and the only ones who will believe it was real are the fangirls who like to think that about us anyway."
Zack: *mumble*
Genesis: "Speak up, Puppy, Amarissia can't take dictation if she can't hear. Heh, I said 'take dick'."
Zack: "Don't you like to think that about us, Angeal?"
Angeal: "You know my feeling about that. I love hugging you as much as I did kissing you. It's fine if we're not together as long as we're together."

Zack lifts his head out of the cocoon of knees and folded arms, just enough for a fringe of bangs and a strip of flushed skin to appear. After a little more murmured encouragement from Angeal, the eyes come into view, tears blurring their remarkable blue.

Zack: "Will you stop babbling on about my eyes already?! It's getting old!"
Angeal: "Amarissia, perhaps you could curb the impulse to go into story-writing mode."
Me: "Heh. Sorry."
Genesis: "Once chastened, the antisocial fangirl bent once again over her laptop, fingers poised as she waited for her muses to speak. In the silence, her thoughts drifted, and she decided to let the most elegant and refined member of the Choir return to his Boku No Pico DVD."
Me: "Nice try."
Angeal: "You too, Gen."
Zack: "I'm really sorry, Angeal."
Angeal: "I told you, it's fine."
Zack: "No it's not! It's horrible of me! I'm horrible! I'm sorry, I know you hate to hear that, but how else would you describe someone who leads on a person they love?"
Angeal: "It was an accident, and I've told you not to feel guilty about this situation, it's not your fault you don't remember being with me...as more than this."
Genesis: "I remember, vaguely. Well, I remember Puppy smirking whenever I mentioned spanking, and there was quite a lot of snogging, and remember that asphyxiation thing they did in The White Room? Well, once I was peering through the peephole I cut into Angeal's wall, and - "
Cloud: "I don't remember anything."
Me: "Yeah, we'll have to explore the reasons for that sometime." *looks pointedly at Sephy*
Sephy: *clears throat* "If my recollections are correct, Angeal and Zack were quite happy. Zack, I am sorry. I had no right to take the memory of that time from you, even if my intentions were kind."
Zack: *bites lower lip, chin quivers* "I'm not crying! Don't write that I'm crying!"
Me: "I'm gonna have to write that I'm crying if this doesn't get worked out soon."
Angeal: *pulls Zack closer* "Pretend it's just you and me here. Puppy, there must be something one of us can say that will fix this. Just tell me."
Zack: "I don't remember what Seph wiped from my mind. I don't remember you as anything more than this...I mean, you're A LOT to me, like everything, but, you know what I mean?"
Angeal: "Yes." *smile* "I know."
Zack: "I love you, you know?"
Angeal: "I know that too."
Genesis: *quietly* "Seph, I'm not one to be serious when the occasion calls for it, but..." *sigh* "I suppose Amarissia writing me as a non-villain has had an effect. Puppy is really shaking, should we do something?"
Sephy: "I don't believe we can."
Cloud: *whisper* "Seph, does Zack need hugging?"
Sephy: *cuddle* "Yes, Puppet, but not from us just now."
Angeal: "So we're the same as we were before, right?"
Zack: "No." *tears streaming* "It's not - "

BWAP BWA BWAP BWAP BWAP

Genesis: "Yes, my adoring fangirls, Puppy's biggest pouts are enough to trigger all our alarms at once. Sometimes mako-enhanced hearing is a real bitch. Not when one is listening outside doors, of course. Not that I'm practiced in such deception." *wink, pout* "Why is no one paying attention to meeee?"
Me: "Zangeal has that effect, dear."
Angeal: "Puppy, I couldn't hear what you said, would you repeat that?" *pets*
Zack: *heaving* "Said...not fair...to Seph and Cloud. It's not fair to you either, if I keep pretending I don't feel...things. Fuck!"
Genesis: *whisper* "Was that a command, or...?"
Me: "Expletive."
Genesis: "Damn. Wait, did Puppy just..."
Cloud: *wide eyes*
Angeal: *blink blink*
Zack: *hand over eyes* "Angeal?"
Angeal: *blink blink* "Pup, are you saying you..."
Zack: "I still don't remember, but...Seph? I'm really - "
Sephy: *smile* "I'm only pleased to see the sad fog over your mind begin to lift. Zack, you have not lost me or Cloud, nor will you, ever. You have merely begun to regain a lost and precious piece of yourself."
Genesis: "That was rather unlike your usual logic, Seph. Did Amarissia tell you to say all that?"
Sephy: "Yes. But it does reflect my feelings."
Cloud: "Amarissia, what's going on?"
Me: "I think we just lost the Choir's most amusing running joke, honey. Or we're beginning to, at least."
Cloud: "Is that sad? If it's sad, how come Zack looks like he feels better?"
Angeal: *hugging Zack* "We don't have to decide anything now, okay? Just breathe."
Zack: *clings wordlessly*
Me: "It's not sad at all, Cloudy."

...uh, what just happened?

Cloud: "Seph says it's not bedtime yet, so we can play with Patrick! You want to see him try to fly? He's still too little, so he can't get very far, and he looks like he's bouncing! Wanna see?"

Of course, dear. Gaia continues to turn, I suppose, and life goes on... *turns off "Why", pulls out something more fitting...*