Don't Wanna Sleep...

[amarissia]

...wanna stay up and sneak past Sephy through the Mirage of Blaze portal. Seriously, there are hot gay reincarnated samurai in there, and they grope each other. Someone back me up here. Us, I should say, since GenGen and I both want in there. If this doesn't convince you to join the fight, nothing will...

Comments

[tenxxxryuko.livejournal.com]

OPEN PORTAL!! NOW!!!

*dangles Cloud plushie in front of Seph* Here, Sephy, Sephy, Sephy, Sephy, Seph! Come on he~ere, Sephy, Sephy, Sephy, Sephy, Seph! Come on boy! *tosses Cloud plushie to Vincent who transforms to Choas and flies away* Go get Cloud Seph! Come on! Go get Cloud before Choas gets bored and decides to rape him or torture him!
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And if that didn't work, *dangles Reno* Switch off! I'll let you have my Reno muse for a month if you open that portal!

Reno: FUCKING, SHIVA, HELL NO, YO!! LET ME GO YOU MOTHER-FUCKING BI- *is gagged* *shouts out obsene things we cannot understand*

Me: Come on Reno, do it for the, smexy, reincarnated samurais! The hot, smexy, reincarnated, gay samurais!

Tseng and Rufus: *glares at Seph* Don't touch him. You are able to observe, but NO. TOUCHING.

Me: *rolls eyes* Touch, see, fuck, alright, we get it! Just pretty please open that portal?!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Sephy: *smirk, runs fingertip down Reno's cheek* "Hello again, Turk."
Zack: *protectively holds on to Cloud* "Poor Reno. Here we go again."
Genesis: *tugs on portal door* "LEMME AT 'EM!"
Sephy: "Oh, looks like Tseng and Rufus aren't here to protect you."
Amarissia: "Damn, he like welded the door shut or something..."
Genesis: "But..hot samurai!"
Amarissia: "I KNOW!"
Cloud: *waves to Chaos* "Bye bye Vincent!"

GAH. FAIL.

Genesis: *pouts*

[tenxxxryuko.livejournal.com]

*snatches Reno back who sighs in sobbing relief* Nuh, uh, uh!! I said you have to OPEN the portal, not jam it shut! No Reno for you Mr. Naughty-Fuffypants!! *smirks* Now open it! *takes Zack and Cloud* Don't worry, no harm will be done. I'm just going to have a tickle war. I'll let everyone except Seph visit them unless Mr. Naughty-Fluffypants opens those portals! Until then, these two will participate in a tickle!

Cloud: *shrieks* No! No, don't tickle me!

Zack: *looks at me warily* You won't give me weird sex candy will you?

Naw, just tickle Cloudie with me. And unless it's Seph, you can visit Amgeal all you want. But you and Cloud-babe here has to stay with me until Mr. Naughty-Fluffypants opens the Mirage of Blaze portal!

Cloud: *laughs as we tickle him* Save me! I don't wanna die from laughter!!

Zack: *smiles* Hey, this isn't so bad!

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Sephy: *spirals in eyes* "My playthings have been taken...Mother..."

Uh-oh.

Cloud: "Eep! *runs back* OMNISLASH!"
Seph: *falls*
Cloud: *catches* "Seph is sleepy now. I'm sorry, Seph, we didn't mean to make you sad."

Meanwhile...

Angeal: *death-grips Zack* "No fangirls! No going anywhere without me! THE WORLD IS DANGEROUS!"
Zack: "Dude, okay, calm down."

Genesis and I: *still tugging at portal*

[tenxxxryuko.livejournal.com]

*rolls eyes* Oh for the love of god! Just open the mother-fucking portal!! Come on! Nothing bad is going to happen! I won't take Cloud or Zack! Happy?! And I'll let you huggle Reno if you open the portal please.

Or do you wish to negotiate? *has on Turk face* What do you say Seph?

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

*grins* I can offer the services of my Reno as well, Sephy darling.

Reno: *gagged and hogtied* Mrff! MMMMPPH!

Tseng-teng's replaced me in Mideel and I need to get back at Reno for stealing all my tea and switching my decaf coffee with espresso. So, are you willing to negotiate? (*whispers* We just need to distract him. I have turk-grade explosives that can open that portal. It might scare the shit out of those on the other side but that's a sacrifice we're willing to make, ne?)

[tenxxxryuko.livejournal.com]

*still have Turk-poker face* (*whispers* Yes. You open that portal, I'll distract him)

*turns to Seph* Let's get down to business. As you know, your caretaker amarissi has been bigning you to open the portalto some of her favorite fandoms for quite some time now. And, as of recently, she wished to open the Mirage of Blazes portal. I come into this because I too wished the portal would open so all those, as quoated, 'hot, sexy, reincarnated gay samurai' can interact with amarissia and in return her adoring fans. Which makes a win-win situation for us fangirls. *indicates Amaya* Of course, you fear for the safety, and sanity and chasity *shoots look at Gen* of those in the other portals. That was why persuasion and bribery came into play.

*indicates two Renos* *turns back to Seph* But, you Seph, decided to shut the portal door by unknown means. And so, if these two offerings do not work, perhaps this will.

Vinnie: *glares at me* I want a vacation after this. *is carryin knocked out and captured loud-muse of mine*

Cloud: *knocked out*

I offer you my Cloud-muse and Reno-muse and Amaya's Reno in return that you openthe portal. Currently, my mind is not very safe for dear, pretty, jailbait Cloud. Hue plot bunnies in my head are starting to conjure up perverted situations like in Not Wrath of Gods, Madness of Angels, and other rape ideas. *smiles slightly*

Such a sad, poor environment dear Cloud is in.

Cloud: (*who is acting, whimpers in fright*)

*turns to Cloud and looks at him gleefully* And those plot bunnies are just SO temptingto write...

Well Seph? *looks at Seph*

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

*sneaks around distracted Sephy and waves Amarissia and Gen away from the door while humming* Hmmm, now how thick is this... Aw whatever. *digs around in pack* Gunpowder, flare, PETN, flour, Ah, TATP! *smirks and attaches cylindrcal case to the door* Hey, you guys might want to back up a bit. *attaches thin fused blasting caps next to the Acetone Peroxide* This thing's going to be loud. And very bright. *hooks up the detonator to the blasting caps* Note, this is likely overkill, but I'm a turk and turks like flashy things. *grins and casts barrier to keep the damage to Amarissia's portal room minimal*

This is why I love my job. DUCK AND COVER! *presses detonator*

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

*CRASH*

Me: "Dude!"
Zack: "Crazy Turks..."
Me: "OMIGOD I see one! Hot reincarnated samurai!" *preapres to leap*
Naoe: *makes portal go SMASH*
Me: "HEY! I'm not an enemy, I'm your couples counselor!" *bangs on rubble* "Damn over-cautious semes..."

Thanks anyway, Amaya...

[amarissia.livejournal.com]

Sephy: *is stone-faced*

GAH. He's convinced I'll traumatized every already-traumatized uke I get my hands on. Which is true, but still!

[key-of-ra.livejournal.com]

Crazy is right. Did you know that TATP is referred to as "Mother of Satan" in certain circles? And it's one of the few explosives that work well wet? *giggles* Anyway, if you figure out any way to repair the portal, I'll be happy to help again. ^-^