February 19th, 2010
...I've been catching up on Dan Bergstein's blog, in which he read the Twilight books and then summarizes them, and I found something that made me giggle. Well, all his entries make me giggle, but this one made me giggle and nod. Because I realized - and even more so now that younger sister is making me read the series, currently on the last and avoiding it - that Bella is the problem. Bella is the whole problem I have with these books.
Actually, that's a filthy lie. I don't like Meyer's style, I twitch at spelling and grammatical mistakes, I don't like het, I don't like her using the word 'saga', I don't like that what should be a decent and fairly popular series has become a phenomenon while more deserving books are ignored, and I think Alice is a plot-hole generator. Aside from that, I always liked vampires, I like some of these vampires, and some bits of the story are interesting, I will admit. I just don't digest Mary Sues well. And Dan expresses it quite nicely, as seen here:
Argh! I hate you, Bella Swan! I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I hate your stupid mood swings. I hate that you think Edward is neat. I hate that you can't see how rad Jacob is. I hate that one moment you're the smartest girl in all the land, and the next moment you can't remember what month it is. I hate that you're mature enough to take care of your parents, but so immature that you think it's flipping awesome when someone kidnaps you.
I hate that you want to throw away your education, your future, your entire life just for the sake of some good-looking smelly monster. I hate your thoughts. I hate your dependence on others. I hate that you never scream and yell at Edward for treating you like a hamster. I hate that you left the Volturi Victims to die, and have never mentioned them or lost sleep over it since. I hate your shoes, because they're probably stupid. I hate the way you probably add an extra syllable to the word "theater." I hate you so much it hurts my hair. Agh!
And now, after saying something negative, most therapists agree it's important to say something positive. So Bella, I like your truck very much. And I bet your lasagna doesn't taste bad. We cool?
If interested, you can find the entry, which will lead you to the blog, here.
You know what's sad? Twilight could have been an awesome yaoi. A cheesy Marty-Sue yaoi, but I'm a raging hypocrite and I wouldn't complain. :)